From: Ken Royer []
Sent: Saturday, July 03, 2010 7:59 AM
Subject: To our Colleagues in Personnel

                                                                                                            July, 2010


To Our Colleagues in Personnel…


This monthly “resource tool” is designed to provide insight for personnel workers in ministry-related areas.  If you would like to be removed from the list (or a friend would like to be added), please let me know… or


“Building Skills for Member Care with Excellence.”  Dates = Jan. 10-14, 2011.  We’d love to have you with us.  For more information check  Write for info / application.  A partial scholarship may be available upon request.


Some interesting statistics:  Based on the completion of Link Care’s fiscal year June 30,

            105 = Number of adults in Link Care’s Program of Restoration and Personal Growth (July 1, 2009 through June 30, 2010)

            73% =  Rate of “Return to Service”

            Conclusion:  MUCH for which to give thanks.


This month’s “tool” offers a resource for those living with depressed males.  From the excellent book, Unmasking Male Depression: Recognizing the Root Cause to Many Problem Behaviors Such as Anger, Resentment, Abusiveness, Silence, Addictions, and Sexual Compulsiveness by Archibald D. Hart, the last chapter is entitled Living with a Depressed Male. 


From the helpful information in that chapter, I’d like to draw from the most and least helpful strategies (pages 231 and 235).  We hope this will be useful!


The Best Things you can Say to the Depressed Man in your Life


1)  “I love you and always will because you are important to me.”


2)  “I can’t really feel what you are feeling, but I want to understand.”


3)  “The best I can offer you right now is to be your friend.”


4)  “You don’t have to apologize for the way you feel, because I know you can’t really control it.”


5)  “You are not alone in this; I will stay by you until it’s over.”


6)  “This won’t last forever, and when it’s over we’ll sing God’s praises together.”


7)  “God isn’t causing this.  He wants to help you bear it.”


8)  “Some of God’s greatest servants have also suffered from depression – and God helped them through it.”



The Worst Things you can Say to the Depressed Man in your Life


1)  “Get your life together; you are a man and can control yourself if you try.”


2)  “God isn’t pleased with your life at the moment.  Maybe you have unforgiven sin.”


3)  “Stop feeling so sorry for yourself and just try a little harder.”


4)  “I don’t know how much more of this I can take.  You are driving me crazy.”


5)  “Remember that there are many people in the world who are worse off than you.”


6)  “I’m beginning to think that it was a mistake for me to marry you.”


7)  “You should stop seeing those quacks and taking those pills because they’re changing your brain.”


8)  “Believe me, I know how you feel because I was depressed once and I didn’t make a meal of it.”




Until next time… have a good month!  Take time for a VACATION this summer, OK?  Hopefully we’ll all be a little “easier to live with” after vacation – and less grumpy!  (Smile)  God bless you.


Ken Royer for your Link Care friends

1734 W. Shaw Ave; Fresno, CA 93711; 559 439 5920 ext. 122;